an open letter to the United Kingdom

Dear Great Britain,
There are several things we must address as winter approaches. I know, I know, you're not likely to listen to an American girl who isn't even staying for more than a year. But something must be said.

First, about the hot water. Hot water is not a morning thing. It's not something we only use before 3 pm. We like to have hot water all day long. Sometimes, a hot shower at night is nice and relaxing. When I go in in my towel and stand there getting cold, waiting for the hot water that never comes, I have to say my opinion of the United Kindom plumets. Furthermore, I would like to do my dishes in the evening with hot water, because it's more sanitary than cold.

Second, about Christmas. I love Christmas just as much as anyone. But you started celebrating Christmas in October, and that's just not okay. The holiday displays in the grocery story have displaced and diminished some important items, such as houseware and food storage. The adds on television are extremely annoying already, and we have another month to go. I'm sorry, but it's just not Christmas yet. Next week, you can start. I'm not in the States, so maybe my memory is fuzzy, but I remember starting to celebrate Christmas after Thanksgiving. I feel that the absence of this holiday is the root of your difficulty, Great Britain. You need Thanksgiving. You need a holiday between Halloween and Christmas.

That's all for now. The Christmas thing, I understand. You have no Thanksgiving, you can't help feeling the need to stretch your holiday season. But the hot water? Please? I don't like having to shower only before 3 pm. I want hot water for my dishes. I want hot water when I wash my face at night. Work on it? Thanks.

Yours Truly,
AMT